Life has been going so well for me, i have amazing friends, a good social life, a stable mental health and great company all around. But there's always that one time, that one pang of shittiness hits and you just want to crawl back into your cave, isolate yourself and just cry. That's exactly what i'm feeling.

Everyone's bound to go through something in their life, it's inevitable. There is always something that triggers oneself into the life of pure despair. You can never run from it in hopes it won't catch up, it eventually will. Closure is always needed in times like this, but not everyone can afford having closure. Sometimes it just costs too much. And you're just stuck there having to ride through the wave till it's over. It's definitely not going to be an easy right, but it's not impossible.

They said she was dead when you met her, well apparently she was. She was dead inside but tried her very best to stay alive. At least that's what she thinks she's doing.

They said you killed her. But how do you kill someone who was already dead? Who's soul has left their body years before she even met you? Yet you still managed to kill her.

Before you, everything was......bad. She didn't have friends, she didn't believe in herself, she didn't even try to live. She hated herself with every being in her body. Why? Because the people around her has made her believe that she's never good enough for anything. Be it family, close friends or even strangers. They have all made her believed that she is never good enough for anything.

"YOU'RE TOO FAT"
"YOU NEED TO BE SMARTER"
"YOUR OCCUPATION IS TRASH IT WON'T EARN YOU MONEY"
"LOOK AT THAT GIRL, SHE'S SO PRETTY UNLIKE YOU."
"WHY CAN'T YOU BE NICER?"
"YOU NEED TO SMILE MORE"

All her life, that is all she had to hear. She's never smart enough, she's never pretty enough, she's never nice enough. She grew up having to listen to that every day. She lacked validation, she lacked attention that she's supposed to get, she lacked everything. The only way she thought she could get all that was online. That's where she met you.

It was the year of 2013, she was roleplaying on Facebook. Her growing love for SISTAR was the reason the two of you met. You became the guy she was 'just talking to'. She didn't see you as anything more than just a friend, because that is what you guys decided to be. 'FRIENDS'. But apparently God didn't like the fact that the two of you were only friends. God made your feelings grew for her.

Some people might thing this would be the start of amazing happy ending story. She sure did. For once, she was alive with you. She felt more alive than the years she has been living this whole time. It was all because of you. You made her feel pretty, you made her feel smart, you made her feel that she truly really is a nice person. You changed her for the better and she was genuinely happy for once, and it was all because of you.

But you had to ruin it. You just had to ruin things for her because apparently she never made you happy, she's too childish for you, she doesn't empathize you enough. You said she was childish because she couldn't face an innocent prank you pulled on her. "IT WAS JUST A PRANK I WASN'T GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU FOR REAL!"

IT WAS JUST A PRANK.

You killed her that day. That innocent prank you pulled killed her.

18, M'sian, Distressed.

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